1.
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.
2.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3.
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5.
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7.
He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8.
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
10.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
Collected by High School English Teachers.
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