Sunday, November 26, 2006

The Top 10 Funniest Analogies in English


Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.


His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.


He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.


She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.


She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.


Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.


He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.


The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.


The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.


McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

Collected by High School English Teachers.


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